wekhter

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/halloweeeee-2025

Tonight's the big night, people!

ARE.

YOU.

READY?!?

I'll take that as a yes.

Now, the first thing you need to kick off that Halloween party later is an OFF DA HOOK historical lecture.

I'll start.

Did you know that Halloween was once known in Druidic circles as "Hallsweer?"

It's true!

Ok, not so much. But you should totally make up a bunch of random factoids and see how long it takes your guests to throw you out the window.

Or just wish everyone a happy "Hallawen," and when questioned, insist that's how it's pronounced "in the old country."

"The Ambiguously Scared Trio"

Of course we can't let the night pass without saluting you, Mr. Failing-To-Grasp-The-Concept-of-Eyeballs-Man:

In the face of crippling chocolate eyeball shortages, you step up with something that technically still has eyes on it, AND is circular. Bravo, Mr. Failing-To-Grasp-The-Concept-of-Eyeballs-Man. Bra. VO.

(Srsly, the more you try to imagine the thought process that led up to this, the funnier it gets.)

And finally, to REALLY kick your party off right, just go to your local wreckery and order a cake with a "Halloween look."

I guarantee the result will be terrifying.

Or at least really funny.

(I especially like how they really captured the spirit of "Hallowee" with all that orange, blue, and green.)

Thanks to Courtney M., Dawn K., Michelle L., Cortni C., & Eric F., who I hear is a real whiz when it comes to Hallowee decorations.

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/halloweeeee-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/fall-fail-2025

Yesterday marked the first below-80-degree weather we've had in Orlando in nearly six months! Woohoo!

Which means I can now officially say...

Y'all have GOT to be kidding me.

And now for something completely unrelated…

Boop boop be SWEET LORD IN HEAVEN.

Thanks to Myriah L. and Stephanie A. for showing us that Betty Boop really does defy the laws of physics.

*****

P.S. This seems appropriate:

Disney's Nightmare Before Christmas T-Shirt

:)

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/fall-fail-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/no-butts-2025

You know bakeries are cracking down pretty hard when they feel the need to remove the "ass" from "Associate."

"Oh, thank goodness! Now our children are safe!"

 

 

Thanks to Stephen H. & Julie W., who I assume will be assuaged by my assurance that this situation will be assessed by my asstute associates.  

 

Fun Fact: If you add an extra "s" to "astute," it sounds like "ass toot."

You're welcome.

*****

P.S. I found you some additional reading:

Farty Facts: An Illustrated Guide To The Science, History, And Art Of Farting

Yes it's a real book, I can't believe I have to clarify that. A worthy gift for all students of life, or for anyone who has a butt.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/no-butts-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/putting-the-ha-in-halloween-2025

You guys, this Friday is Halloween! And you know what that means, right?

Yep: Time to get our hands on some cake.

Finger-licking bad.

 

Or I suppose we could sink our teeth into some...er...

[blinking]

...never mind.

 

Just keep your eyes off this pumpkin cake, if you please:

Thank you.

 

I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this design:

Ow.

Oh, I know! Maybe it's a window pane!

*gigglesnort*

Ahem.

 

I did wonder why Frank there had no nose, but then I realized:

That's why.

Yep, you could say it's as plain as the dong on his face.

 

Come to think of it, this bakery really should reevaluate their staff:

'Cuz that's one broomstick that should be swept under the rug.
You know, for being too hard to handle.
Not to mention stick-y.

 

And so, my friends, in conclusion:

Haa!

 

And...

EEN!!

 

Thanks to A.F., C.C., Linda L., Donna S., Patrick M., Dana, Jeremy C., & Kelsey N. for the tricky treats.

*****

P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as confusing as these cakes:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/putting-the-ha-in-halloween-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/deep-breaths-2025

Hey, you know what? I think we could all use a nice, relaxing post. Something safe, easy, and appetizing. Something that brings to mind happy places...

...and happy things.

So clear your minds, my friends, and let's think about happy little butterflies...

And cheeky little monkeys...

And sleepy little kittens...

 And warm, friendly faces...

And, of course, giant, chocolate-dipped beetles:

See? All better.

 

Thanks to Claudia D., Dawna Z., Kimberly S., Tiffany, Lisa H., Brittany J., & D.L. for the breather.

*****

P.S., Speaking of relaxing things, remember when fidget spinners were a thing? Because I found the upgraded, double-duty version:

Stainless Steel Spinner Ring Set

You get all 3 of these pretty spinner rings for $12, and the reviews say they're especially great for teens. These are an awesome way to keep your hands busy without being super obvious.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/deep-breaths-2025

Posted by Lindsey

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-treats-halloween-2025

You know when you go to a haunted house, how there's the usual super scary corpse-undertaker-chasing-you-with-a-blood-covered-chainsaw section? And across the parking lot there's the happy-hayride-pumpkin-patch-and-face-painting-with-the-kids section? That's where you'll find today's Halloween Sweets. Today there's nothing to be scared about, except overdosing on cuteness!

Not to mention sweetness.

By Rebecca of Sugar Creations

A cake covered in candy? I can handle that. 

 

How luscious is this caramel apple cake? It looks so real I'm tempted to take a bite just for authenticity's sake.

By Andrea's SweetCakes

 

I'm trying to be scared by this spooky graveyard cake, but ... nope! Too cute! See the wee little jack-o-lantern?

By Crafty Confections

 

Hmmm, speaking of jack-o-lanterns maybe I'll try to carve all of mine out of cake this year, because a) smaller odds of accidentally stabbing myself again, and b) tastier leftovers!

By The Ladygloom

 

Now this is a happy cake!

Made by Cake Central member preciouspjs

These monsters don't want to eat your entrails, they just want to see you smile! Love the different textures of 'fur.'

 

Ok, this next cake is by far the absolute cutest thing I've seen all day:

By Jen's Cakery

And that includes those newborn hedgehog pictures that are going around the internet and also my own children.

 

If some awesome person delivered these amazing cookies to my house, I would ban everyone from eating them, and display them as decorations instead. All year long.

By East Coast Cookies

 

It's never too soon to introduce the kids to Halloween, and not just because that means more free candy for you! (No, actually that's a good enough reason.)

By SugarRush Treats

SO CUTE! Look at the tiny droplets of blood on the vampire's fangs!

 

Now, if you are not delighted by this cake and its vivid colors, bats silhouetted by the moon and baby grand piano, you might be a Halloween Scrooge.

By The Well Dressed Cake

(Coincidentally, if you are looking for a great Halloween movie, rent A Christmas Carol with Jim Carrey, because that was the scariest shiz I've ever seen.)

 

The more I look at this cake, the more I'm floored by the details:

By Andrea's SweetCakes

 Tiny bones and fallen leaves. Itty bitty bats with fangs! Haphazardly hanging shutters! And so well-done too. I've never seen skeletons and gravestones looks so gosh darn adorable.

 

And finally, can you make it past the fearful fondling tentacles and eerie eyeballs of this cake? Beyond the ghostly guardian, over the circular sentinels, through the clingy cobwebs and up the slimy staircase to the haunted mansion?

By Good Gracious Cakes

 Go on, try it. I double dare you.

Yeah, you go on ahead...

I'll uh, just be over here getting my face painted.

Happy Sunday!

*****

P.S. Are you making Halloween Treat bags this year? Because I found the cutest set:

Halloween Goody Bag Set: 40 Bags & Stickers

I love the designs, especially the cat & the skull!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/sunday-treats-halloween-2025

Posted by Jen

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/when-the-world-ends-blame-the-ninja-deer-2025

You know how sometimes we like to zoom in to see all the wrecky details?

Well, it turns out sometimes we should zoom OUT.

Take this wedding cake, for example:

While I think you'll agree that finger-smeared "camouflage" is a true wonder to behold, there's no way for you to fully appreciate the entire artistic "tableau" - the one hinted at by that snippet of caution tape in the background - until you zoom out a ways:

I'll forgive the balloons, the little boot vases, and even the toy tractors - but two plywood boards balanced on a used tractor tire? That's time to take a stand, people. And burn it.

 

And, ok, since you insist:

Whoah, whoah, whoah. Where did those tiny deer come from?!

No, seriously, did you see any tiny plastic deer in those first two photos? 'Cuz I didn't.

Wait.

I just thought of something:

What if the deer were wearing camouflage?

{***}

That sound just then?

That was your mind being blown.

Many thanks to Anony M., who also provided a photo of the bridal party, but I've decided to protect the identities of the guilty. After all, any bridesmaid forced to wear a camo dress with a neon orange petticoat and cowboy boots has suffered enough, don't you think?

*****

P.S. I don't think I'll ever be OK with tires as cake stands, but they DO make pretty awesome travel mugs:

Stainless Steel Tire Travel Mug

The lid even has a hub cap! Ha! Great reviews, too.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

https://www.cakewrecks.com/home/when-the-world-ends-blame-the-ninja-deer-2025