Will you guys ever get tired of seeing wedding missed marks? 'Cuz I'm thinking, "no."
Let's test that theory, shall we?
What the bride wanted:
What the bride got:
That'll buff out.
A lovely leaf motif:
And a lovely...oh good grief:
Actually, that leaf design is so popular I have two wedding wrecks based on it:
Whoah. This baker needs to make like a tree, and get out of tree decorations.
(Hm. I feel like that line didn't go quite right. Maybe I should follow it up with something clever.)
So.
YEAH.
(Theeere we go.)
This next one's in reverse order; here's what Anthony L's bakery replaced another bakery's initial wreck with, and with only an hour and a half to do so before the wedding started:
Not bad for less than two hours' work, right?
Especially when you compare what the original cake (again, from another bakery) looked like:
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Play-Doh? I keep expecting it to spring to life, claymation style. And then maybe turn into a giant demon dog and terrorize a nerdy New York accountant.
Just me?
Here's a fun, modern pattern:
Aaaaand the fun stops HERE:
It's never a good sign when your cake is crying.
Goodness gracious, great balls on wires!
Seriously. They're like shiny little bubbles of joy - totally cute.
These, on the other hand, are just...
...balls.
Thanks to Krista V., Emily B., Allison I., Anthony L., Tempest J., & Sarah B. for feeding our horrible wedding wreck obsession.
*****
P.S. In case your life was missing a set of cat butt magnets, I found you some:
September 8th, 2025: The bold return of Tiny Batman Head! Only now I've written for DC so uh it's even MORE important that we all just BE COOL ABOUT THIS
September 5th, 2025: I want it on record, specifically because he does not, that my friend PATRICK WISKING is the inventor of the chocochop! I am merely its #1 fan and salesperson!!
Every now and then - and I'm not saying this happens often - professional bakers have a little trouble making cakes that look like...well, anything.
Perhaps hardest of all is the vehicle cake. There's just something about all those shapes and circles and squares that drives even the most hardened Shop-a-Lot Davinci to edible clip art with the watermarks still on:
Now, if only we had a picture of chocolate drizzle and sprinkles...
So let's say you want KITT from Knight Rider on your cake:
Rather than attempt the entire car, your baker might try to home in on KITT's most distinguishing feature:
The ketchup-and-mustard smear under his seat.
Or how about this tractor?
At first glance, you might think this could be broken down into a simple drawing of two boxes on two wheels.
BUT YOU WOULD BE WRONG.
It's an extremely complicated design, and rendering it in icing is so unbelievably difficult that the finished product would be far beyond the bounds of mere mortal comprehension.
Yeah. Like that.
And finally, let's say your child wants a school bus cake:
(Oh, you know this is going to be good.)
You might end up with this:
It's not small. It's "fun sized!" Wait. Can a bus be flaccid?
Thanks to Andie K., Brooke & Mike K., Lea B., & Pete H. for keeping us on track today.
*****
P.S. Did you know you can buy the entire series of Knight Rider on Blu-Ray for only $34? That's less than the DVD set!
I haven't see this show since I was about 10, so I'm curious if it holds up. If not, then I hope it's hilariously bad; anything in the middle is just boring. :p
When it comes to powerfully good cake, the choice is (nu)clear:
And here's some fuel for thought: this wasn't a special order. It was just out in the display case, on the off chance someone was having a nuclear power plant themed occasion worth celebrating.
HOW WELL THEY KNOW ME.
Thanks to Clare M. for the rad wreckporting.
*****
P.S. And if you like that, then I have just the punny shirt for you:
September 3rd, 2025: Boise was a great time, and I love a comics festival. You get to meet all sorts of people who wouldn't necessarily pay admission to a comics con, and sometimes get to be someone's very first comic! A delight from start to finish.
Yesterday I sensed a great celebration in the Force. As if a billion stay-at-home parents suddenly cried out, and then poured themselves a margarita.
Oh, is school back in session?
Thaaaat explains it.
Plus, now I know why I've been seeing cakes with random office supplies thrown on them:
Oh! And what "TOSCHOL" is!
That black square with the red squiggle, however, remains a mystery.
Now, kids, I know it may not seem like it now, but going to school really is a good thing.
For your parents, I mean. Sucks to be you!! Haha!
Ahem.
I'm sorry.
What I meant was, education is an important, vital aspect of your development, and the places we go to receive our education should be treated with the proper respect.
Now, is it easy? Of course not! After all, these places will make you [shudder] "Back ---- To The Books (Study)":
You have no idea how much I'd like to scratch out "books" and write in "Future." Then I'd replace "study" with "McFly."
Oooh, cake graffiti! Why hasn't this been done before??
[NOTE: I here at Cake Wrecks do not endorse, condone, or solicit illegal cake defacing.]
[Unless you're paid to do it.]
[Glad we cleared that up.]
['Nother Note: I'd give you $5. Just sayin'.]
Look, bottom line:
Totally.
So run along and have fun, dears! I think today I'll sit around and play Overwatch while eating Marshmallow fluff straight out of the jar. Degree-holding adult, right here! Stay in shool!
Thanks to Wendy F., Doug, Marissa S., Megan C., Kristin J., and Allison V. for the education.
*****
P.S. Tell me mine isn't the only brain that went straight to this after that last cake:
Each glass has instructions on the back telling you when to drink, like "when Blanche mentions 'Big Daddy'" or "when Sophia tells you to picture Sicily." Bahaha! *****
September 1st, 2025: Today I'm coming back from BCAF! If we met - AWESOME! If we didn't meet... well, I don't know who to blame here but it seems like there's an awful lot of it to go around. :0
Per the dw_news post regarding the MS/TN blocks, we are doing a small code push shortly in order to get the code live. As per usual, please let us know if you see anything wonky.
There is some code cleanup we've been doing that is going out with this push but I don't think there is any new/reworked functionality, so it should be pretty invisible if all goes well.
A reminder to everyone that starting tomorrow, we are being forced to block access to any IP address that geolocates to the state of Mississippi for legal reasons while we and Netchoice continue fighting the law in court. People whose IP addresses geolocate to Mississippi will only be able to access a page that explains the issue and lets them know that we'll be back to offer them service as soon as the legal risk to us is less existential.
The block page will include the apology but I'll repeat it here: we don't do geolocation ourselves, so we're limited to the geolocation ability of our network provider. Our anti-spam geolocation blocks have shown us that their geolocation database has a number of mistakes in it. If one of your friends who doesn't live in Mississippi gets the block message, there is nothing we can do on our end to adjust the block, because we don't control it. The only way to fix a mistaken block is to change your IP address to one that doesn't register as being in Mississippi, either by disconnecting your internet connection and reconnecting it (if you don't have a static IP address) or using a VPN.
In related news, the judge in our challenge to Tennessee's social media age verification, parental consent, and parental surveillance law (which we are also part of the fight against!) ruled last month that we had not met the threshold for a temporary injunction preventing the state from enforcing the law while the court case proceeds.
The Tennesee law is less onerous than the Mississippi law and the fines for violating it are slightly less ruinous (slightly), but it's still a risk to us. While the fight goes on, we've decided to prevent any new account signups from anyone under 18 in Tennessee to protect ourselves against risk. We do not need to block access from the whole state: this only applies to new account creation.
Because we don't do any geolocation on our users and our network provider's geolocation services only apply to blocking access to the site entirely, the way we're implementing this is a new mandatory question on the account creation form asking if you live in Tennessee. If you do, you'll be unable to register an account if you're under 18, not just the under 13 restriction mandated by COPPA. Like the restrictions on the state of Mississippi, we absolutely hate having to do this, we're sorry, and we hope we'll be able to undo it as soon as possible.
Finally, I'd like to thank every one of you who's commented with a message of support for this fight or who's bought paid time to help keep us running. The fact we're entirely user-supported and you all genuinely understand why this fight is so important for everyone is a huge part of why we can continue to do this work. I've also sent a lot of your comments to the lawyers who are fighting the actual battles in court, and they find your wholehearted support just as encouraging and motivating as I do. Thank you all once again for being the best users any social media site could ever hope for. You make me proud and even more determined to yell at state attorneys general on your behalf.
In fact, I like this one so much I think it got into my subconscious: I just realized the curtain I bought this week is the same teal ombre! Ha! (Now if only I could find real tiles like this to match.)
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